Sitting in the bathroom doing my business and Eli runs up to the door, slides a play coin under it and shouts “NO! NO!”
Yaya Alafia Dacosta has joined the long line of celebrity mothers who are attempting to normalize nursing by posting photos of themselves breastfeeding on Instagram.
Love this pic and love her confidence!!!
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Too Tired for Sex
Excuse me ladies… I thought “I’m tired” was our excuse? Well my husband just used it on me. A few weeks ago he said no because I wasn’t romantic enough about it. What the fuck.
I’m pregnant and insecure and for once (or twice) I feel sexy and you’re too tired. But oh you think I’m beautiful. Tomorrow I’ll feel like shit about myself and you’ll say “I don’t know why you get so down on yourself.”
Well asshole, it’s you.
All Alone and Too Pregnant (rant)
Don had to take his mom back home from her visit. He was going to stay a night and then come home. So I FINALLY convinced Don to take Eli with him…and I am excited. C’mon mamas, you know what I mean.
I just wanted to take myself to a movie, get a pedi, come home to a hot bath, and sleep the evening, night and morning away. And then of course I wanted to get right back to being a mom.
So I get ready to head out to my movie…NO KEYS. We only have one set of keys to our extra car, and of course, they are on Don’s key chain.
I am not even worried about going into labor…but here I am upset, frustrated, and crying because I can’t FINALLY have a “me” day. I mean, a real one: 24 hours of not having to cook someone dinner or wipe a bottom while also doing what I WANT TO DO without having to worry about getting a babysitter or if my husband is going to like the movie or want me home asap.
Pointing out a person’s privilege is not an indictment of their character or integrity; it’s about calling attention to the benefits a person is granted based on their station in society and how they act on those benefits, not who they are in their heart.
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Mom: The Negotiator
I’ve always thought my son is exactly like his father…turns out there is a bit of me in there:
Me: Elijah it’s time to take a nap, you didn’t take a good morning one and we have a late night.
Eli: Otay, Cwacka pease.
Me: you may have a cracker but then we’re going for a nap.
Eli: Yes. Cwacka, tank uu.
And then he went up for a nap. I am negotiating with a toddler.
Chosen motherhood is the real liberation. The choice to have a child makes the whole experience of motherhood different, and the choice to be generative in other ways can at last be made, and is being made by many women now, without guilt.
— Betty Friedan (The Feminine Mystique)
Who Am I?
Eli was up all night last night, and therefore so was I, and dad actually. This morning, he was awful and getting into everything. Then he ran up to me, grabbed my cereal bowl from where it was sitting and spilled milk all over the carpet.
After that mishap it got better. I put cartoons on for him while I tried to nap on the couch. (Keep in mind I am 31 weeks pregnant.) Then he tells me he wants a nap, and upon taking him to his crib, he decides to cry for 45 minutes.
At this point I am crying and yelling out of frustration and exhaustion. I didn’t even want to look at him in that moment. Does this make me a bad mother?
"Each suburban wife struggles with it alone. As she made the beds, shopped for groceries, matched slipcover material, ate peanut butter sandwiches with her children, chauffeured Cub Scouts and Brownies, lay beside her husband at night- she was afraid to ask even of herself the silent question— ‘Is this all?’ " -Betty Friedan (The Feminine Mystique)
I chose this life and I feel that that decision alone sets me apart from many. But if at some point, or some times in my life as a mother I am asking, “Is this all my life will ever be?” Does that make me a bad mother?
I am lucky, I have a husband who is himself a feminist as well. On these days, if he can, he will rush home to my rescue so I can lose myself in a bath, book, blog, or SLEEP (which is what I really need right now but I had too many thoughts in my mind). He will never be the one to say “You haven’t done enough” or tell me things like “I’ll be glad to stay home if you think you can make the money I make” and “Is your job really that hard”. Instead, he reveres what I do and puts me on a motherly pedestal. He also knows I am human and wouldn’t ever hold a breakdown like this one against me. But still I wonder…
Does all this make me a bad mother?